Bachelorette Party Etiquette

There are many opportunities to celebrate a couple and married life during the wedding planning process, but there is only one event that focuses on celebrating the bride and only the bride; the bachelorette party. The bachelorette party has also evolved from a low-key dinner or lunch the day before the wedding into a full-on destination weekend, with its own hashtags and matching t-shirts.

Bachelorette parties might be all about having fun and celebrating the bride, but there are some etiquette questions that still come up. Here are some answers to the most frequently asked questions about planning a bachelorette party for your friend.

Who Throws A Bachelorette Party?

A bachelorette party is usually planned by the bride’s maid of honor, a small group of bridesmaids, or a small group of close friends, but there are no rules here for who should plan it. It’s perfectly fine if the bride would rather plan her own bachelorette party, or ask a bridesmaid other than the maid of honor. The most important thing to remember is that a lot of opinions can quickly turn into a disaster. It’s generally best for one or two people to lead the planning of the party, and the rest of the people going should try to just go with the flow as much as they can. Whether you’re trying to decide which hotel to book, or whether to get custom hat embroidery for everyone, try to keep the decision-makers to a minimum to avoid arguments.

When Do You Hold A Bachelorette Party?

There are no set rules here either. Different seasons will be better for different destinations for the party, but most bachelorettes take place about one or two months before the wedding. If a date before or after that works better for your group though, this is fine. Plan it whenever you like.

Is It Ok To Plan It Over A Holiday Weekend?

While hosting your wedding during a holiday weekend can be a controversial move, it is generally more acceptable for bachelorette parties to be on holiday weekends, as the event involves a smaller group of people that is more intimately connected to the bride. It can be nice to book on a holiday weekend so the group doesn’t have to take an extra day of vacation time, but airfare and hotels can be a lot more expensive during a holiday. If you’re considering booking on a holiday weekend, you will want to weigh priorities accordingly when you are choosing the date.

How Involved Should The Bride Be In Planning?

If somebody other than the bride is in charge of planning the bachelorette party, they should get some input from the bride at the start of the planning. The bride should be asked if they have a specific destination or dates in mind for their party, or if there are any activities or specific things that she is interested in doing or anything she definitely doesn’t want to do. From this point, it is the responsibility of the planner to take the bride’s ideas and make them happen. A few questions here and there to help make decisions should be okay, but it’s generally better not to get the bride too involved in the logistics of her bachelorette unless she wants to be. She’s probably busy with her wedding planning!

Who Gets Invited To A Bachelorette Party?

Who gets invited to the bachelorette party is up to the bride. Some brides will want to have just their bridal party there for the party, while others might prefer to extend the invitation to a larger circle of family, friends, or members of their partner’s inner circle. Whichever she decides to do, people who are invited to the bachelorette party should also be invited to the wedding. Gender shouldn’t prevent anyone from making the guest list either. The bride can have whoever she wants with her.

Do You Need To Send Formal Invitations?

Formal invitations are not needed for a bachelorette party. In most cases, you can just send an email to invite people. Don’t choose anything too formal or too cute. Just send out something that is focused on logistics and general information to get a feel for who can attend. After key details and the confirmed guest list have been agreed on, however, then a more official e-vite or paper invitation can be sent out to get the group excited about attending.

Who Pays For The Bachelorette Party?

Traditionally, each attendee of the bachelorette party will pay his or her own way through the party and will also chip in to cover the cost of the bride. If the bachelorette party is just one night of dinner or drinks, it is a nice gesture, but not always needed, to do this. If the bachelorette party will go on for a few days and will require guests to fly somewhere, however, it is more common for a bride to pay her own way, especially for transportation and lodging. You could decide to have the bride pay for her own flights and hotel, but then ask the guests to chip in to pay for her share of activities, dinner, or drinks.

In some cases, the maid of honor or the bride’s sister might choose to cover the bride’s trip completely, but it is more common for the whole group to chip in to cover the bride’s portion of a specific activity or meal during the trip.

Should There Be Party Favors?

Party favors are not mandatory at a bachelorette party, but favors like tumblers, mugs, fanny packs, or personalized attire like t-shirts, hats, and swimsuits have become very popular for these events in recent years. Something that the guests will be able to use throughout the weekend is a great idea if you would like to give people favors. If you do decide to do something like this, you can arrange for the favors to be set out for the guests when they arrive or you could distribute them at the beginning of the event, or send them out before you travel.